WANTED: WebBlaster ASAP

Yesterday was one of those days that I really needed to climb the walls. Trust me, I tried, but my Spiderman fingers were not working. WARNING: This is a long one, so have a seat....

We had several rounds with Stuart running away. YES, RUNNING AWAY! After dropping Macy off at school, we came home and I gave the neighbor some money (we're going to store the camper out at his shop). Stuart was out front and Myles was having a fit. I put Fiona down for a nap and then took Myles in for a bottle and diaper change. Hoping, just hoping, that he'd go to sleep. No such luck. I called for Stuart to come in and then ran to the bathroom (mom's have to go too). He didn't come in, so Myles and I went out front looking for him. No Stu. We went out back looking for him. No Stu.  I yelled and yelled and then the neighbor came out of his garage and said he had told Stuart to come home because his mommy sounded worried. I brought him into the house. He was playing in the living room with Myles. I ran downstairs to print out a table for a record of what we had paid and when the rent would be due. Stuart came downstairs and said Myles was mad. I grabbed my print and went upstairs. No Stu. I yelled for him. I went out front and yelled for him. No Stu. I went out back and yelled for him. No Stu.  I came back inside and I yelled, "Stu, if you are hiding, I need you to come out, Momma is getting worried."  No Stu.  I grabbed Myles, we went back out front to yell some more. No Stu. I went to the neighbor's garage again. No Stu. They were in the car and hadn't seen him. I yelled some more. No Stu. I started to come into the house (I was going to call the police or Grady) and then the neighbor across the street came out and said that Stuart told her I said it was okay for him to go visit. NOPE. We went to pick up Macy from school.

While I was making Chicken Enchiladas for dinner (thanks, Nana, for putting that into Macy's dinner desires), I gave Myles some biter biscuits to munch on so he would be happy for a while. He gave a new meaning to "head to toes".

Macy came in and said, "Mom, I'm too heavy for the trampoline now." I looked at her and said, "What?". She told me that she was jumping and then she ripped it and we should put it in the garage sale now. Here's the "fat girl" hole:
Little sister had to show it off too!
While we were out inspecting the tear, Myles was put onto the grass. Right before this picture was taken, he had both arms up in the air and was laying in his chest with his head held up. He had to pose when the camera came.
I took him and gave him a bath. While I was in there, I kept peeking out the window and the other kids. Stuart was throwing stuff into the neighbor's yard and their son was throwing them back. I grabbed Myles, wrapped in only a towel, and went out to put a stop to it. Stuart was saying some not so nice things, so I made him come into the house. Myles got dressed and went down for a nap. I took the laptop out to the deck to look for some extension mirrors for the car and spotted Stuart escaping to the neighbor's yard. I yelled for him to come home. He went to hide in their swingset. I came back through the house and went after him. He wouldn't come home. I pulled him off the swingset and made him put his toys back in our yard. Then told him to get home. He resisted. I had to swat his bottom. The first time in forever that I had to spank the kid. Then he listened to me because he knew that I meant business.

We had dinner, went for a walk, and had a bath. I went to check email and received this one:

Why Parents (sometimes NEED a) Drink

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. " Hello ? "

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes" whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No ."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes ."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No ."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes ," !
whispered the child,
"a policeman ."

"Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy ", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A helicopter " answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering,
the child answered,
"The search team just landed a helicopter ." Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?

Still whispering,
the young voice replied
with a muffled giggle...
"ME ."

WHAT A DAY! HA, HA!